For many years my husband and I would get caught up in the Crazy Cycle. Of course we didn't realize it at all and both just assumed that this was married life. I mean, marriage is hard right? Happily ever after is only a fairy tale. When it comes to marriage we do the best we can, and try to make the best out of the results.
This approach didn't feel right, but I knew no better. I knew that I had to submit to my husband, but after some time I began feeling like my opinions and feelings didn't matter. All my submitting, attempts at gentleness, all my words of love were not getting me anywhere. I was getting to where I flat out didn’t like my husband very much. AND, I thought that was ok. I didn't have to like him or even love him to be married; I just had to make the day to day work. My husband lived in a dream world where he didn't have a clue to my feelings. If you asked him, everything was hunky dory. I was absorbing everything myself, and slowly dying inside.
Then I realized that I had within me the ability and power to more actively engage and fight for my marriage. Through Love and Respect (specifically the women’s study) I realized that God did not want me to have a mediocre marriage. That he wanted my husband and I to be passionate about each other, and also that He has given me, ME the power and ability to proactively do things that specifically speak to my husband’s heart to help him see mine. I realized that it didn't matter what world my husband lived in, nor how he responded to me, that would determine my actions in my marriage. My actions would be determined by the Word of God and who I am in Him. Once I learned to put my identity in Christ, not in my husband, I was truly able to give my husband what he really needed... unconditional respect.
Thank you so much for your faithfulness that made this story true. (Jacki)
Taken from the Respectfully Yours DVD study