September 26, 2012

It’s Not All About Me!

Here’s a story from a wise wife who made a powerful discovery about her wedding anniversary:

My husband and I attended your seminar and it opened my eyes in so many ways.  I realized what was missing in the way I respond to him and how I've been disrespectful towards him causing him to respond in unloving ways.  All this time I'm blaming him and asking and praying for God to change him.

Last weekend was our 17th anniversary.  He's such a golf fanatic that I told him my gift for him would be for him to play golf at a golf course of his choice and money is no object.  To top it off, I told him that I'd caddie for him - drive the golf cart for him and whatever else a caddie does. He was excited the morning of our anniversary while getting ready for golf - he couldn't believe it.  Once we arrived at the golf course, he was telling everyone how that day was my anniversary gift for him and that l would even caddie for him.  

I could tell he was so proud.  It was a VIP golf course and we were treated as such the whole time and he couldn't believe it.  All of the guys were saying they wish their wives would do the same for them and one actually shook my hand and thanked me for what I did for my husband and said that men need more wives like me. You can say that my husband had a smile the whole time and he said he actually shot his best score ever. 

I've always (thought) our anniversary is all about me and that he better have a nice gift for me.  You have changed that for me and I never would have thought of thinking about what would make him happy.....Thank you so much!!!!  

What I love about this story is not only did this wife make a powerful realization – that marriage isn’t all about her – but she acted on it.  Though golf was not her idea of romance, she discovered a deeper joy in giving her husband the gift of respect.  I’m quite sure her husband would say that was their most romantic anniversary ever!


Donna Jean said...

I told my husband to go ahead and go golfing many times, but all that happened was that he golfed more and more and neglected myself and our children. He ended up committing adultery and divorced me after 22 years of marriage.

Anonymous said...

I can empathize (sp) w/you. My husband hasn't gone to those extremes (that I know of),but he has always placed his wants and needs above mine and our children. Always wanting to do more and more and more. All the while, I'm taking care of our children (by choice and wouldn't have it any other way!)paying bills and virtually doing everything else. We have gone through Love & Respect twice @ our church and nothing has changed. If anything it has gotten worse.

Christa Houghton said...

I admire this woman. She took up her cross and died to herself, putting his needs first and did it joyfully. What a roll model for me as a newly wed. My husband loves to golf. I've gone with him a few times, just to watch. I'm going to offer to be his caddy next time :) thank you for posting this story.

Debra said...

That is a great story!! I know I need to have that kind of a spirit much more in my marriage!! Thanks for sharing!!

The Miller Family said...

Donna Jean and Anonymous,

I'm afraid you both missed the point. The point is not to "let" your husband go golfing, the point is to become a part of his life, to show him through your action and interaction that you joyfully desire to be with him and to please him, whether its golfing, watching a game or working in the garden.

He wants you to truly be one flesh with him, to show him respect, honor and reverence, and we are commanded to do this, even if he doesn't "deserve" it:)

Donna Jean said...

I did want to be with him...he didn't want to be with me.

Anonymous said...

My wife has many times "let" me go do something, but has done so with contempt. I get words like "Fine." "I guess." or "Whatever.". One of the best gifts is when my wife enthusiastically participates with me in something I enjoy, enthusiastically being the key word.

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