January 23, 2013

THE MARRIAGE CONFERENCE MEN WANT TO ATTEND


               …a message from Sarah Eggerichs

My favorite part of the Love & Respect Marriage Conference is the opportunity to meet the amazing men and women who attend. I am especially moved by the men who come.  Why?  Because I see men respond in powerful ways to this message and it always touches my heart.  In fact, I want to subtitle it “The marriage conference men want to attend!”
 
This is what one man wrote us: 
 
"This truly is a conference men want to attend.  What was said at this event captured what I feel and think as a man.  It also challenged me to understand the heart of my wife.  Our marriage has been energized.”
 
Wives are asking their husbands, “Is this the way you feel?” Men are saying, “Absolutely.”
 
Why do men find our marriage conference so “male-friendly”?
 
We understand that good willed men serve and die for issues of honor and respect. Not long ago in Aurora, Colorado we saw a man open fire in a theater, killing many people.  What I found so noble is that 4 boyfriends gave their lives for their girlfriends in that theater. I’m deeply moved at the thought that my two sons would die for their sister!  But if they were ever in that situation, I know they would.

 Yet men can appear to lack motivation to show love. What husband does not know that he is to love his wife? Our culture screams this message everywhere we go.  Generally speaking, husbands don’t lack this knowledge. 

But what many of them do lack, for some reason, is motivation. Who most often urges attendance at a marriage seminar?  Who reads the books on marriage?  Who tries to get a spouse to change?  You got it.  She does. 

 So what is the issue? 

Most men know their wives love them, but they often feel we don’t like them – or respect them, for who they are. Now we know that women need respect too!  There are two sides to every coin.  But if a woman is feeling disrespected in her marriage, her conclusion is usually, “You don’t love me!  How can you say you love me and treat me with such disrespect?” She lands on love. 

We discovered a Crazy Cycle: without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love. This starts the Crazy Cycle spinning!

She is not trying to be disrespectful but she appears that way, and he is not trying to be unloving but he appears that way.

We want to help you get off that Crazy Cycle.  We will put a voice and vocabulary to what a husband feels and he will be energized in a way no other marriage conference energizes him. That's a promise.
 
And, we will help husbands understand that the deepest longing in the heart of his wife is for love and that her mission is to connect with him at that level. If she appears disrespectful that is not her intent as a good willed woman.
 
We hope you’ll join us at one of our Live or Video Conferences and energize your marriage in 2013!

With love and respect,
 
Sarah                                                            

6 comments:

Astro Guru said...
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Alison Sutton said...

I would love if you brought your conference to Canada.

Anonymous said...

I really hope my husband and I can attend one of these soon!!!! We discovered Love and Respect when I read the book after picking it up at a garage sale I didn't even know what it was about and put it on my shelf for a year but I had been praying for a miracle for my marriage and when we packed to move it was the only thing mysteriously left out and I like to read when I travel so it was the book like it or not and boy am I soooooo grateful!!!!! I shared the theory with husband by practicing it and then shared the book with him, we then went to a 6 week group class at a local Church and it has transform our marriage over the past 3 yrs, I truly believe it saved us!!!!!!!!! I've bought over 10 copies if the book now as each time a friend tells me if their relationship troubles I had them a copy :)!!!! And I've even heard my husband quietly mentioning it to many if his guy friends pause God he's a non believer so it makes my heart sing that God is working in his life and in our marriage every day :)!!!!!

ee said...

My husband and I are currently reading your love and respect book. It sure puts a lot of things in perspective. I hope you have a conference soon in Michigan!

Anonymous said...

With all due respect, I have never heard you address addiction. Human beings are not this simple. The crazy cycle is not this simple and will never work when there are individuals that have addictions or come from childhood abuse and need help recovering from trauma before they could possibly paritcipate in the love and respect approach. I know more than one woman in my church that this "respecting" her husband while it turned out he had a secret acciction, only got her seriously exploited and more victimized.

Anonymous said...

Yes, that is my story. Thank you for sharing the flipside of the coin. I respected my husband unconditionally and believed in his goodwill without question, and he used it as an excuse to further his sexual addiction without consequences. I would love to hear this issue addressed by the Eggerichs. What if your spouse genuinely doesn't have good intentions toward you?

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