As a wife, you notice a man and a woman walking hand in hand.
You see a couple sitting together in the park, talking face to face on a bench.
You beam all the way through your friend's wedding.
On a rainy day, you page through your wedding pictures.
As you pass the hospital, you see new parents coming from the maternity ward, and your mind races back to the birth of your child and what you felt as a couple.
You look at the world through pink sunglasses. (Forgive the stereotypical color pink, but it serves the biblical point I want to make.) You see the presence of love. You scout for it. You can find it without looking for it. We believe God designed you this way.
Ephesians 5:33 commands husbands to love their wives. Wives need to feel love. Wives look to be loved. Love colors what wives see. She sees the presence of love.
You also see the absence of love, or what you feel is unloving.
You can see the sad countenance of a wife as she walks with her husband.
You listen carefully to the negative way your friend's husband talks to her.
You wonder why your husband does not say, "Let's talk," but instead reads the paper or works out.
In fact, if your husband does several things that feel unloving, you might say to him as you walk to the car from the parent-teacher meeting, "Why don't you ever hold my hand?! You only need me for one thing! I'm sick and tired of the lack of romance!”
When your husband counters, "Where is that coming from? This is unbelievable. I don't deserve this disrespect," you discount this as further evidence that he is clueless, insensitive and egotistical.
But could it be that your husband looks through different colored sunglasses? Could it be he’s not wrong…just different?
2 comments:
you are right on target ! My selfishness and stubborn arrogant pride keep me from humbling myself to my spouse. I need to do it anyway (as if to the Lord) whether I want to or not. It is so hard to get it right, but any very valuable thing (like a great marriage ), costs a lot to obtain. Do it for the sake of your children and future grandchildren , "DON'T BREAK THEIR HEARTS" ! N in Tx.
I will admit that I have been guilty of this through the years and wish we had had this teaching before he stopped going to church at all. I've been trying to see things his way and give him the respect he needs, maybe too little too late but I'm trying.
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