When All Hope Was Gone…a Husband Loves His Wife Back

If we listen to the culture, we could feel pretty hopeless about marriage. But those of us who are Christ followers, have HOPE – as the Johnson’s shared in my last blog. Allow me to share one more hope story…this time from a husband who had thrown his marriage away by failing to deal with his sin.

As a result of my abusive past 40 years ago with a myriad of issues I had never faced, I had become verbally abusive to a degree I had never been. God led me to heart-rending repentance and I experienced a healing of my heart in a way I had never experienced in my 30 + years as a "professing" Christian.  

But my marriage had failed. My wife had left me and candidly, she no longer had emotional feelings for me - and rightly so. We have lived apart since.  

Despite where I was and where we were, you challenged me to AGAPE my wife. As a result of this and God's miracles, this next weekend my wife and I are going away on a second honeymoon. I cannot accurately put into words the gratitude.  

I did not finish your book. Once I got to the section for wives (when we men can listen in), I stopped - for my focus has shifted to how I can serve my wife, not how I can grouse about how she is not serving me.  

God is still in the business of healing the broken hearted IF we are willing to participate in the process. God saved our marriage, and it is solidly based on the Rock and on the twin pillars of love & respect. (Anonymous) 

What sin are you holding onto in your life? Without a doubt, the enemy will attempt to use unresolved sin to destroy your marriage. Sin never brings us the satisfaction we are longing for. Deal with it today – and find real satisfaction through repentance and reconciliation! 

~ Emerson 

“If we say that we have no sin, 

we are deceiving ourselves 

and the truth is not in us. 

 If we confess our sins, 

He is faithful and righteous 

to forgive us our sins 

and to cleanse us 

from all unrighteousness.” 

~1 John 1:8, 9 NASB 

DURING TOUGH FINANCIAL TIMES

Cal Rychener, the pastor of Northwoods Community Church in Peoria, Illinois, shared this poignant memory with me.

“I remember a situation from 1979. I was home for Christmas from college and one afternoon when just my mom, dad, and I were home for lunch, I saw my dad at the table with his head down in his arms. That was very unlike him and I said, ‘Dad, what’s the matter?’ He said, ‘I’ve got a $300 fuel bill that I don’t know how I’m going to pay.’

“Everything in me wanted to say, ‘Dad, let’s pray about it, turn it over to God and see what he does about it.’ But I didn’t say that. I didn’t want to sound super-spiritual. I didn’t want to get my hopes up that God might do something and then nothing happen. That’s the real tension in faith. If you truly believe God for anything, there are going to be times that you’ll feel like an idiot for trusting him. Because until he comes through you don’t know if he’s going to, and if he doesn’t, you feel like maybe you weren’t supposed to trust his promise like that. So we play it safe, and worry and fret instead of trust!

“I went up to my bedroom after lunch because I was feeling badly for my dad and I got down on my knees and prayed for him. ‘Lord, Dad never has had anything to spare with all of us kids. It’s always been so hard for him. Please bless him and provide for this fuel bill somehow.’

“I will never forget him coming up the walk that day at 5:00 pm with a surprise Christmas bonus that the boss had given to all the employees that day. Care to guess the amount of the bonus? $300! What a great answer to prayer!

“But I remember thinking, ‘Lord, I want to learn how to cultivate a heart of faith and joy at noon before I actually see you solve the problem at 5:00.’ The circumstances said at noon, ‘You’re in a heap of trouble. You’re not going to be able to pay your bills. You’ve got a reason to feel hopeless and dejected,’ and from our natural surroundings, we did! But, those were the lies that were designed to take my eyes off my Source! I was not any less secure at noon than at 5:00 p.m. Because of this, I want to trust God and give thanks to God ahead of time. I want to learn to pray, ‘Thank you Lord. Though this fuel bill is due and I don’t know how I’m going to pay it, you are the Source.’”

Cal then shared that he is learning to activate his faith through thanksgiving. “For me the secret to operating in faith is found in this little word - thanksgiving.”

Years later, as the senior pastor of Northwoods Community Church, Cal and his church board had the opportunity to purchase extra land for their exploding church. The price? $300,000. They didn’t have $300,000 so discussed borrowing and other options. Deciding to pray, Cal thanked God for this situation. He offered to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving, having learned over the years that thanksgiving releases his faith. Cal only desired what God desired for the church, and did not want to worry and fret. Thanksgiving lifts the burdens and anxieties. Thanksgiving brings peace and confidence.

The next day in the mail a businessman in the church sent Cal a check for $300,000. This man had no idea about the need or the board discussions. He knew nothing. This man simply felt led by God to give the church a check for $300,000.

Look, Cal doesn’t receive miraculous interventions like this every time he prays! But because he has encountered God several miraculous times over the years, thanksgiving puts him in a posture to exercise faith and remain calm of heart regardless of the outcome.

Sadly, some never learn this. When the $300 bill comes, they pound the kitchen table in anger, go up to their bedroom and kick the wall, and later cope with the frustration by indulging in some carnal activity. The miracle at 5 pm never comes, and they blame God! The Bible says, “The foolishness of man ruins his way, and his heart rages against the Lord” (Proverbs 19:3).

Friend, what is your need? Are you thanking God ahead of time? Assuming you are acting as responsible as you know how, are you learning to relax and release your faith through the giving of thanks?

In your marriage, if you are experiencing an increase in financial pressures, is our Loving Lord inviting you to look to Him during these tough financial times? Don’t let your frustrations get the better of you. Keep praying. Keep thanking. .

Christmas Did Happen!

Years ago I recall a conversation that went something like the following. My older cousin asked condescendingly, "do you actually believe in Jesus, and that Jesus was born of a virgin and that Jesus was raised from the dead?" I replied, "well, let me answer that by asking you this: Do you believe in the possibility of a God?" He answered, "yes." I then asked, "can a supernatural God, if that God exists, do supernatural things?" He answered, "yes." I then said, "it is not un-intellectual to believe that a supernatural God can do supernatural things. A supernatural God can cause a virgin to give birth and cause a dead man to come back to life. The question before us is not ‘CAN God cause Mary, a virgin, to give birth to Jesus or CAN God raise Jesus from the dead?’ but ‘DID God cause Mary, a virgin, to give birth to Jesus or DID God raise Jesus from the dead?’ This is not an intellectual question but an historical question. Each of us must ask ourselves, ‘DID this happen, not CAN this happen, since we have already established the fact that it could happen, since a supernatural God can do supernatural things. For me, I have a satisfied mind and heart that it DID happen."

I have not buried my brains by placing my faith in the testimony of the New Testament. My heart cannot believe what my mind rejects. Yes, part of the testimony in the New Testament revolves around the miraculous. After all, the central message of the New Testament revolves around a supernatural God. The supernatural and miracles tend to go together. I would expect this. I would expect to read about such phenomena. For this reason, I always chuckle at those skeptical of the account of the miraculous in the New Testament because if the story did not consist of the miraculous these very skeptics would denounce the New Testament as a false document. They would cynically declare, "if the New Testament authentically tells the story of a supernatural God then we would expect miraculous stories, like the blind seeing, the sick getting healed, the lame walking, and a few other things like walking on water, entering buildings through a wall, and dead men being brought back to life, not to suggest God walking among us and showing himself to us and then ascending into the heavens after telling us everything will be okay in the end."

Well, that kinda captures the New Testament, doesn't it?

Guess what? Now, because the New Testament account consists of supernatural events, these very cynics reject the account as myth, nothing more than fairy tales about dead men coming back to life, the blind seeing, the lame walking and a virgin giving birth. In the spirit of Scrooge we hear them derisively mumble, "Bah humbug.”

For some, whichever way the story comes out, whether the story consists of miracles or whether the story has no miracles, either way they rudely jeer, “Bah, humbug.” With some you cannot win for losing.

As for me, I believe. For example, I believe what John writes in his gospel, the good news. John, 1:1,14, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God... And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth."

Who is the Word in John’s Gospel? He identifies this One as Jesus. What do we know about this Word or Jesus? This Word, Jesus, was with God and was God, in other words, Jesus was distinct from God the Father but Jesus was equal to God the Father (Philippians 2:6). Then John tells us that this Word became flesh, in other words, Jesus, who is God, became man.

CAN something like the incarnation happen? Of course. A supernatural God CAN do supernatural things. DID it happen? I believe it DID happen, and I have a hunch, because you continued reading, you too believe, or want to believe. Therefore, I wish you a Merry Christmas!