When All Hope Was Gone…a Husband Loves His Wife Back

If we listen to the culture, we could feel pretty hopeless about marriage. But those of us who are Christ followers, have HOPE – as the Johnson’s shared in my last blog. Allow me to share one more hope story…this time from a husband who had thrown his marriage away by failing to deal with his sin.

As a result of my abusive past 40 years ago with a myriad of issues I had never faced, I had become verbally abusive to a degree I had never been. God led me to heart-rending repentance and I experienced a healing of my heart in a way I had never experienced in my 30 + years as a "professing" Christian.  

But my marriage had failed. My wife had left me and candidly, she no longer had emotional feelings for me - and rightly so. We have lived apart since.  

Despite where I was and where we were, you challenged me to AGAPE my wife. As a result of this and God's miracles, this next weekend my wife and I are going away on a second honeymoon. I cannot accurately put into words the gratitude.  

I did not finish your book. Once I got to the section for wives (when we men can listen in), I stopped - for my focus has shifted to how I can serve my wife, not how I can grouse about how she is not serving me.  

God is still in the business of healing the broken hearted IF we are willing to participate in the process. God saved our marriage, and it is solidly based on the Rock and on the twin pillars of love & respect. (Anonymous) 

What sin are you holding onto in your life? Without a doubt, the enemy will attempt to use unresolved sin to destroy your marriage. Sin never brings us the satisfaction we are longing for. Deal with it today – and find real satisfaction through repentance and reconciliation! 

~ Emerson 

“If we say that we have no sin, 

we are deceiving ourselves 

and the truth is not in us. 

 If we confess our sins, 

He is faithful and righteous 

to forgive us our sins 

and to cleanse us 

from all unrighteousness.” 

~1 John 1:8, 9 NASB 

from Michael Hyatt: "What I Learned About Leadership From A Fight With My Wife"

My friend Michael Hyatt is one of the most profound writers on leadership that I know.  His recent blog post linking leadership principles to marital conflict resolution did not disappoint. 


Check out his transparent and insightful post: "What I Learned About Leadership From A Fight With My Wife."


~Emerson

How PEACEMAKING Connects With AUTHORITY

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker, taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict, his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.  By the same token, if a wife chooses to respect her husband’s authority (desire to serve and to lead), he will be motivated to make peace with her and try to meet her needs and concerns during conflict at any level.

One wife shared that she and her husband had totally different approaches to solving problems or settling arguments.  She came from a family who were “great arguers,” and they thrashed everything out as they shared feelings and dealt with differences.  Her husband came from a family that tended to ignore problems and pretend they weren’t there.  She saw him trying to do the same thing until she understood the Love and Respect principles and realized her argumentative style of problem-solving was causing him to go into “fight or flight” mode. Since she has tried to be more respectful, she has noticed a great difference in the way he responds to solving problems.  He now steps up to the plate and faces problems instead of seeming to ignore them.  Instead of remaining opponents, they have become a team.

On the other side of the coin, a husband wrote to tell me that he discovered he needed to ask his wife’s forgiveness for how aggressive he often was during conflict.  He is now more aware of when his wife is hurt by something he did or said that felt unloving to her.  He has learned the importance of asking for her forgiveness so they can move ahead in a more productive manner. 

How about you?  Are you and your spouse fighting for authority or working towards peacemaking during conflict?  Are you so bent on winning the argument that you are running over your spouse with your harshness?  Or are you the one who is running from the conflict, trying to keep a false sense of peace?

Pray this week about what God wants you to do differently to resolve the conflict in your marriage.  Then take the necessary steps to move first!

~Emerson

Excerpts taken from The Language of Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.

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