tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27923077228684854382012-01-29T10:17:55.215-05:00.Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.comBlogger1251100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-39035652775808052012-01-24T17:35:00.003-05:002012-01-24T17:40:36.087-05:00“I confronted…nothing changed…now what?”
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Q: What if I have respectfully confronted my
husband but he continues in his addiction? His drinking is destroying our
family!
Dr.
E says: As you know, giving advice through email is
not the ideal. I desire to serve you with godly wisdom, yet realize I don't
have all the pieces, and have not heard both sides. Please keep this in mind as I attempt to help
within these Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-18562713772004658812012-01-19T11:26:00.000-05:002012-01-19T13:09:08.645-05:00Respectful Confrontation for the "Three A's"...
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Q: It seems like the
principles of love and respect are too simplistic. For example, how can you respect a spouse who
is committing adultery, has addictions, or is abusive?
Dr E says: Let’s not confuse unconditional love or
respect with condoning sinful behavior!
We must separate the sin from the sinner. Jesus hates sin, yet he loves the
sinner. We are called to do Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-82715136668899094752012-01-11T10:21:00.004-05:002012-01-11T10:32:01.789-05:00What if We Are an Exception to Pink and Blue? Part 2
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In the next several weeks, I’ll share with you the most
frequently asked questions we get at Love & Respect Ministries. Last week I responded to the concern of those
who feel like they are an exception to the “pink and blue” analogy I often
use.
Here’s how one young couple learned
to unpack their unique conflict style and turn it into a win-win:
My wife and I, who have Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-5681335246828776382012-01-04T13:17:00.000-05:002012-01-04T14:15:18.066-05:00What if We are an Exception to Pink and Blue?
At
times I receive mail or personal inquiries at our conferences to the
effect: "We don't fit your
description of husband and wife. She is the one who stonewalls, and he is the one
who 'lets it all hang out.'”
My
answer is that cultural and personal applications can vary. I use general examples that apply to the
majority, but that doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you if you fall
Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-23342763802076890372011-12-21T08:38:00.000-05:002011-12-21T08:44:26.693-05:00Peace, Good Will Toward Men...
Glory to God in the Highest,
and on Earth Peace, Good Will Toward Men!
Luke 2:14
We hear this beautiful verse over and over during the Christmas
season. But a few days ago we received
an email that expressed how one couple experienced peace and good will in their
home. What a blessing to read this man’s
“glory to God” story! Our desire is that
all of you will experience peace and Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-88442856121308527662011-12-09T07:00:00.000-05:002011-12-09T07:00:01.589-05:00A Priceless Gift...
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Are you frantically running around trying to find the“perfect” gift for your loved one this year?
Perhaps spending a bit more than you should?
I have an idea for you.
The best gift you can give your spouse is not under the
Christmas tree. It is the priceless gift of a loving and
respectful attitude, which maintains harmony in the home all year long.
Maybe that Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-30148330913847577572011-12-07T19:13:00.001-05:002011-12-07T19:16:07.914-05:00Love & Respect for the NEXT Generation....
As many of you know, Emerson's daughter Joy is serving her generation of 18-35 year olds with the Love and Respect message. In response to your request for curriculum for this specific age group, Joy is in the process of creating a DVD series, slated to shoot next fall.Would you be willing to help Joy with her research? If you or someone you know are 18-35 years old and have read Love and Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-14497105409649935472011-11-28T15:56:00.000-05:002011-11-28T17:48:32.713-05:00Giving Thanks After Thanksgiving
The Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, “in everything give thanks; for
this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
What does giving
thanks in everything mean? It means give thanks for the good things and for the
things that are less than good, trusting that God is working all bad things
together for good (Romans 8:28).
Permit me to focus
on the first part of giving thanks: thankingEmerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-23614008564911668012011-11-15T11:43:00.001-05:002011-11-15T14:02:53.914-05:00The Eternal “AHHH!”
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Do
you remember when you wanted a bike for Christmas but your parents wouldn't say
if you would get it or not? You were in
suspense…and then Christmas morning arrived. There under the tree was your
bright, shiny bike, and you gasped, “AHHH!”
Or
think of your graduation day, wedding day, promotion…or getting a clean bill of
health from your Doctor after a cancer diagnosis. Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-23069380998612552622011-11-01T06:00:00.000-04:002011-11-01T06:00:14.563-04:00Even Good Marriages Need the Rewarded Cycle
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When I first began teaching the biblical truth of the
Rewarded Cycle as it pertains to marriage, I was unsure how people would
receive it. Amazingly, many welcomed the
Rewarded Cycle enthusiastically. Those
who feel hopeless suddenly catch the truth that what they do matters to God; nothing is wasted. This thought not only rejuvenates poor
marriages, but it is helpful to Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-39722155029595101372011-10-25T06:00:00.000-04:002011-10-25T06:00:14.270-04:00When It Simply Doesn’t Work – What Then?
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What is your
worst fear in marriage? Is it that you
will do all you can to love and respect unconditionally but your spouse will
not respond? If so, you are not alone in
that fear. I hear of this concern often from husbands and wives around the
country. But 1 Peter 3:6 tells us to do what is right without being frightened
by any fear.
But how
should you proceed? What if Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-80740234031277263202011-10-15T06:00:00.000-04:002011-10-15T06:00:07.397-04:00Trust God to Work
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Perhaps the major problem that keeps so many couples
somewhere between the Crazy Cycle and the Energizing Cycle is the fear that,
even though they try to practice the Love and Respect Connection, it won’t
work. Or, that they will be the only one
in the marriage trying, and their spouse won’t reciprocate.
To these couples, my advice is always the same: Don’t
give up becauseEmerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-75231074257659734872011-09-27T15:59:00.001-04:002011-09-27T15:59:33.391-04:00Does your Wife Ever Want You to Read Her Mind?
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Men, I suspect if you are like most of us guys, you have been blindsided
a time or two by the “mind-reading game.” This is a classic way to end up on the Crazy Cycle!
Women…on behalf of all men…I’d like
to remind you that we don’t mind-read very well. At all. And husbands…remember
your wife is not trying to trick you…she’s just looking for a sign that you
love her!
Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-72737927285613598662011-09-20T12:56:00.001-04:002011-09-20T12:58:45.837-04:00Marriage {Maintenance}
Recently I came across a blog entry written by a woman who communicated
so effectively the mutual fear couples often experience related to a husband’s
spiritual leadership and authority. She nails it! So this week I’m honored to share a portion of
her blog, with her permission. Thank
you, Bekka!
~Emerson
← 5 Minute Friday – Joy
140 Characters →
Maintenance
I've been a little quiet Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-81434120585129841542011-09-13T13:29:00.000-04:002011-09-13T13:50:22.049-04:00The Jean Jacket
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I proposed
to Sarah when we were both still in college, and she said yes. While still engaged we got a hint of how
husbands and wives can get into arguments over practically nothing. That first Christmas Sarah made me a jean
jacket. Yup…you read that right. She MADE me a jean jacket!
I opened the
box, held up the jacket, and thanked her.
“You don’t
Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-73868927700123116572011-08-30T11:36:00.000-04:002011-08-30T11:36:28.478-04:00{Spiderwebbing}
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You won’t find a formal definition of this term in the dictionary, but most married couples will recognize what spiderwebbing is. Someone starts with this point and goes to that point but doesn’t finish that point before going on to another point, not finishing that point but doubling back to an earlier point. But somehow they always bring the conversation full circle and Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-47162521702576906712011-08-23T09:51:00.000-04:002011-08-23T09:51:46.029-04:00from Michael Hyatt: "What I Learned About Leadership From A Fight With My Wife"My friend Michael Hyatt is one of the most profound writers on leadership that I know. His recent blog post linking leadership principles to marital conflict resolution did not disappoint.
Check out his transparent and insightful post: "What I Learned About Leadership From A Fight With My Wife."
~Emerson
Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-52713447412871025572011-08-16T13:11:00.000-04:002011-08-16T13:11:50.785-04:00{BUSTING} Marriage Myths!
Busting Marriage Myths?
We have all heard the sad statistics of failed marriages, but what is the real story?
Could there be an anti-marriage agenda out there to discourage people against marriage?
Recently I came across a light hearted yet truthful article that deserves attention.
According to this article, there’s good news on marriage – especially among people of faith.
Read and be Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-9635062299408052572011-08-09T11:41:00.000-04:002011-08-09T11:41:50.499-04:00Powerful Enough to Change Your Life
In last week’s blog, I addressed whether the biblical truth of Love and Respect is too simplistic for marriages that are in serious trouble.
This week I share a testimony that beautifully communicates how love and respect, though simple, can powerfully transform a troubled marriage! Read what can happen when just one spouse submits themselves to the transforming power of Jesus Christ and acts Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-40797349008304740952011-08-02T08:33:00.000-04:002011-08-02T08:35:39.766-04:00What’s the Alternative to Love and Respect?A critic states, "Love and respect is too simplistic for couples who have more serious problems."
Yes, many couples have serious problems beyond love and respect. However, those serious problems do not justify neglecting love and respect in favor of the alternative: hate and contempt. Not only is hostility and disdain destructive of intimacy, such behavior opposes God's command to love and Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-74614161287654667482011-07-26T08:56:00.000-04:002011-07-26T08:56:00.015-04:00More Energizing Examples...Last week I shared a testimony from a couple who discovered mutual respect for one another. Because I talk about a woman’s deepest need for love, and a man’s deepest need for respect, I sometimes get the comment from women, “Well, I need respect too!” To which I reply, “Absolutely!” Just because a woman most often speaks a love language, does not mean she doesn’t desire respect. And just Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-10578727813940160722011-07-19T11:00:00.000-04:002011-07-19T11:00:25.299-04:00Mutual RespectThese last several weeks I have been sharing with you the “if-then” principle that keeps the Energizing Cycle humming in your marriage.
Today I want to share the final "if-then" principle: If a husband chooses to esteem and honor his wife and her role in the family, then his wife is motivated to accept and respect his desire to protect and provide for her and their children.
I heard from a Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-73564568408422847652011-07-12T11:58:00.001-04:002011-07-12T11:59:11.548-04:00Time for an Attitude Adjustment (Loyalty & Conquest)An FBI agent confided in me that the amount of time he spent on his job was causing his wife to complain and question him even though he actually thought he was balancing things “pretty well.” He would get defensive and lash back at her, saying he was trying his best to do a good job and he didn't appreciate her questioning.
They would slip onto the Crazy Cycle from time to time because he Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-63069992523699006532011-07-05T11:41:00.000-04:002011-07-05T11:41:11.338-04:00How PEACEMAKING Connects With AUTHORITYIf a husband chooses to be a peacemaker, taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict, his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates. By the same token, if a wife chooses to respect her husband’s authority (desire to serve and to lead), he will be motivated to make peace with her and try to meet her Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-64015505375045329122011-06-28T11:11:00.000-04:002011-06-28T11:11:50.570-04:00How UNDERSTANDING connects with INSIGHTSeveral weeks ago, I started a series on being PROACTIVE, not REACTIVE. I emphasized the importance of not just stopping the Crazy Cycle of conflict in our marriages, but learning how to be proactive by getting on the Energizing Cycle. To do this, I’ve been introducing some specific things husbands and wives can do to proactively stay energized in their marriage.
Before continuing, may I Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-59060434287945566612011-06-21T15:49:00.000-04:002011-06-21T15:49:19.941-04:00How Openness Connects with SexualityHere’s something you husbands may want to try. Go out with some married couples for dinner, and as you dine, ask them to share the story of how they met and eventually got married. Draw them out and let them talk. Then share how you met your wife and describe what you felt about her as you dated and courted her. Assuming you can say it honestly, express that you feel the same way about her Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-22748957939649552122011-06-14T09:59:00.000-04:002011-06-14T12:53:20.188-04:00A Father's Day Story...With Father’s Day approaching, I wish to honor the many fathers who have served their families with love and respect. When I coach husbands on how to love their wives, two principles I teach are a woman’s desire for loyalty and esteem (Love & Respect, pp 117-182). Not long ago I received an email from a man who observed the practical application of loyalty and esteem at its absolute best. He Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-64554519620410652052011-06-07T08:23:00.000-04:002011-06-07T09:29:09.371-04:00FACE-to-FACE and SHOULDER-to-SHOULDERHave you noticed that men and women do friendship differently? Typically (and I realize there are always exceptions to the general rule), female friendship involves face-to-face talking and sharing. Best girlfriends share their hearts, dreams and frustrations with one another. Although they enjoy doing activities together, it is the close heart-to-heart sharing that binds them together as “bestEmerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-82024938439790349272011-06-03T12:05:00.000-04:002011-06-03T12:08:00.027-04:00Through the Lens of LoveAs a wife, you notice a man and a woman walking hand in hand.You see a couple sitting together in the park, talking face to face on a bench.You beam all the way through your friend's wedding.On a rainy day, you page through your wedding pictures.As you pass the hospital, you see new parents coming from the maternity ward, and your mind races back to the birth of your child and what you felt as a Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-90058592599715660752011-06-03T12:02:00.001-04:002011-06-03T12:08:33.733-04:00Through the Lens of RespectAs a husband, you notice matters of honor.The movie Saving Private Ryan, about the invasion of Normandy, tears you up as you fixate on the incredible heroism.You follow the world champion sports team, feeling part of these guys who say, "We respect one another more than anybody on the planet. We'd do anything for one another. One for all, all for one! We're going to be number 1 again!"The note Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-14986427419303972932011-05-27T12:11:00.000-04:002011-05-27T16:38:40.955-04:00Memorial Day Reflections…I attended a military school for five years. As a cadet corps, we stood at attention each day at the raising and the lowering of the flag. Often I felt chills as I faced the red, white and blue. I am a patriot. I do not believe other peoples and nations are less than us in terms of intrinsic value but I do believe God shed His grace on this great land and people. We are, in a foundational Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-41570262375103247662011-05-24T09:26:00.000-04:002011-05-24T09:33:28.396-04:00Who Goes First?Last week I asked the question, “What can husbands and wives do specifically to proactively stay energized in their marriage?” But before I get into the specifics of how to stay on the Energizing Cycle, I need to address two things that prevent most couples from moving from the negative (reactive) to the positive (proactive) in their relationship. Due to human nature, it’s common for Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-87881816842883901822011-05-17T11:54:00.000-04:002011-05-17T11:58:03.982-04:00Let’s be PROACTIVE, not REACTIVEI hear from many couples who read Love & Respect and understand how to slow down and even stop the Crazy Cycle, but they struggle with how to keep it from starting up again. They try to react less negatively to each other, but it’s like turning down the settings on their flamethrowers. They don’t consume each other, but they don’t give each other cups of cold water too often either. Their Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-56272939684794813382011-05-11T12:45:00.000-04:002011-05-11T13:00:38.873-04:00From Sarah’s Heart…I hope you were challenged as I was by Lisa Shea’s testimony last week. Male or female, husband or wife…we are all faced with a critical daily decision: will we choose to obey God? This choice isn’t dependent on our circumstances. When Lisa heard the command from the Lord to respect her husband unconditionally, in spite of negative circumstances in her marriage at that time, she faced this Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-81478571852709062362011-05-03T09:47:00.000-04:002011-05-03T14:53:14.252-04:00The Power of a MotherAs a child I remember my mother wanting only one thing from us on Mother's Day - that we would obey and try to get along with one another. She said that would mean more to her than any gift. I found myself through the years asking the same of my children. Recently our adult son David, not knowing what to give me, asked if that's still all I wanted. We laughed about that. As Mother’s Day Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-14877735703221155772011-04-27T10:16:00.000-04:002011-04-27T11:45:34.131-04:00You Can Be Right, but Wrong at the Top of Your VoiceHave you ever been so intent on getting your point across (and proving you are right!) that your voice rose to a feverish pitch when “discussing” an issue with your loved one? Our tones, facial expressions and attitude can close the other off far and above the content.Sarah and I have certainly been guilty of this and before we know it we’re on the Crazy Cycle. As a result, we introduced a Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-32296689917172464602011-04-18T21:57:00.000-04:002011-04-19T16:31:35.308-04:00New BeginningsThis week we anticipate the celebration of the greatest event in Christianity – the resurrection of our Savior, Jesus Christ, who died that we may have LIFE! This reality – that we have new life here on earth, followed by eternal life – is overwhelming. For the Christian, nothing compares!New life in Christ means a new beginning - even in our marriage. In fact, the beauty of the gift of Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-755809935736783992011-04-11T22:03:00.000-04:002011-04-13T08:39:55.479-04:00My Response is My ResponsibilityDo you feel stuck in a marriage that seems hopeless? You read testimonies of those who are finding real freedom in their marriage and you long for that. Yet, your partner doesn’t seem to be on board. What then? How does Love and Respect apply?Practicing a Love and Respect marriage is a lifelong journey, but you don’t have to travel it alone, even if your spouse doesn’t cooperate. If you are Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-57768633707880358712011-04-05T00:19:00.000-04:002011-04-05T12:02:18.034-04:00A Redeeming Love StoryRecently I learned of a blogger named Ange who posted a Love and Respect Testimonial on her blog for Valentine’s Day. Ange met the author of this testimony, Kristin, at her daughter’s preschool and invited her to a Love and Respect Video Conference. As I read this testimony, it brought tears to my eyes. I thought, if only someone like Ange had reached out to my Mom and Dad as she reached out toEmerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-85822898862242050952011-03-28T11:59:00.000-04:002011-03-28T12:05:28.782-04:00The Air We BreatheWives, what would happen if someone asked your husband how he felt about you and his reply was, “You know…I really respect her.” Imagine if that person prodded him more specifically and asked, “Do you love her?” and his response was, “Well...not really.” How would you feel?If you are in love with your husband, you would be devastated, and rightfully so. That’s because a wife needs love in the wayEmerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-39520438491546687432011-03-22T09:17:00.000-04:002011-03-22T09:29:42.905-04:00It’s Never Too Late!One of the greatest joys for me is to receive testimonies of marriages saved through God’s principles of love and respect. Each testimony is unique and speaks to the power of living marriage as God intended.But one day I received a letter that was different from any I’d ever received. It was from a widow who found a way to apply this message after her husband died.Here is her remarkable story:As Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-2103731134601485252011-03-18T11:59:00.000-04:002011-03-18T12:11:56.521-04:00An Interview With Dr. E {Part 5 of 5}He made us blue. And he made us pink.Not wrong.Just different.~Dr. Emerson Eggerichs~In the final segment of this interview, Dr. E explains how the Energizing Cycle can apply to other relationships ~ singles, parents, children, and other family members.{Click here to listen to Part 1}{Click here to listen to Part 2}{Click here to listen to Part 3}{Click here to listen to Part 4}Clip courtesy of Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-44511543983662667122011-03-17T09:35:00.000-04:002011-03-17T11:49:27.094-04:00An Interview With Dr. E {Part 4 of 5}Love sincerely.Hate evil. Hold on to what is good. Be devoted to each other like a loving family. Excel in showing respect for each other. Don’t be lazy in showing your devotion. Use your energy to serve the Lord.Be happy in your confidence, be patient in trouble, & pray continually.{Romans 12:9-12}God's Word TranlationIn Part 4 of this interview, Dr. E explains what honor and responsibility are Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-70742225208754101682011-03-16T10:11:00.000-04:002011-03-16T11:29:59.678-04:00An Interview With Dr. E {Part 3 of 5}When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions towards her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly. When a husband feels disrespected, it can provoke him so quickly he doesn't see his unloving reaction, which would be obvious to any woman.Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these:WE EASILY SEE WHAT IS Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-78801084603930536732011-03-15T13:12:00.000-04:002011-03-15T14:51:05.504-04:00An Interview With Dr. E {Part 2 of 5}"It is more likely that a husband's love will motivate his wife's respect than his hate will. And it is more likely that a wife's respect will motivate her husband's love than her contempt will. However, there is no guarantee that love or respect will motivate, and that is the reason the word unconditional must be put in front of Love and Respect. In fact, the paradox is that Love and Respect Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-59844996606365142422011-03-14T15:05:00.000-04:002011-03-14T15:59:46.515-04:00An Interview With Dr. E {Part 1 of 5}This week we invite you to listen (and share your reactions or questions in the comments) as Dr. Emerson Eggerichs talks about the secret that can revolutionize any marriage. This secret, "hidden in plain sight" for the last 2,000 years, can be found in the Bible in Ephesians 5:33. As he says in his bestseller, Love and Respect, Women need love. Men need respect.It's as simple and as Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-65230185526517120432011-03-07T19:54:00.000-05:002011-03-07T20:04:30.565-05:00The Silent Treatment…Having warned the wives of possible pitfalls of talking too much, I want to turn to the husbands who may be guilty of talking too little. Note that after Peter instructs the wives to do less talking and more quiet, respectful living before their husbands (1 Peter 3:1-6), he goes on to say, “You husbands likewise live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-69092083171846668752011-03-01T09:56:00.000-05:002011-03-01T10:03:30.475-05:00“Let’s Talk…”When women get together, they typically feel free to talk about their burdens and relationships. Many wives have a natural tendency to do the same with their husbands. Their idea of how to keep the Energizing Cycle going is to talk about things – lots of things. You see, even if a couple is on the Energizing Cycle or at least trying to be, many women are not satisfied. She may assume, “If we Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-38833611544542521512011-02-21T12:08:00.000-05:002011-02-21T12:16:54.432-05:00How is Your Tone of Voice and Facial Expression?I have counseled many couples where the wife complains that the husband comes across as harsh and unloving. From her pink perspective, he is frowning with disapproval or sounding stern, even angry. According to his blue point of view, he is simply making his point firmly and accurately. He can be oblivious to the damaging effects of his angry glare.At the same time I have had many wives tell meEmerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-43541848763527955472011-02-07T22:58:00.000-05:002011-02-07T23:07:07.144-05:00The Final Step Toward Forgiveness: ANTICIPATEI know of a wife who was wronged by her husband. She became angry and unforgiving, but she knew this was destroying her. As a believer, she knew she needed God’s help. She also knew that if she were to experience God’s help, she had to do her part. So she decided to extend some sympathy to her husband and listen to his side of the story. As she did, she understood him better and felt freer Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-65128074353585021452011-02-01T22:08:00.000-05:002011-02-01T22:18:28.021-05:00LETTING GOStep 2: RELINQUISH the Offense to Your Heavenly FatherStep 1 in following Jesus’ example of how to forgive, is to sympathize with the offender (see last blog on “There but for the Grace of God go I”). But even though you have sympathized with your spouse, resentment can fester inside of you. So you must let go of your unforgiving spirit by giving it to God. For many people this sounds good in Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-22712398980401669542011-01-25T12:14:00.000-05:002011-01-25T12:20:26.176-05:00There but for the Grace of God, Go IJesus was wronged more than anyone, enduring punishment to the point of death, for all the sins of the world! His words and ways reveal the secret of how to forgive. The first thing Jesus did, was sympathize with the offender.When Offended by Your Spouse, SYMPATHIZE.When you sympathize, you try to look beyond the offense to other factors that help explain why your spouse offended you. The Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-26252955876398440522011-01-19T09:41:00.000-05:002011-01-19T09:50:00.644-05:00How Does One Forgive?Through the years I have read and listened to many excellent thinkers discuss the question “How does one forgive? What is the process and how can you do it especially when you don’t feel all that forgiving?” For me, the best of insights continue to reinforce what I have learned from the Person and teachings of Jesus. Jesus was wronged more than anyone. Finally, all the sins of the world were Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-1774022441272147662011-01-12T21:46:00.000-05:002011-01-12T21:52:15.131-05:00UNFORGIVENESS: Not Loss of Salvation, but Loss of FellowshipMany of us squirm a bit when we read our Lord’s words: “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15 NLT).Over the years I have had many people ask me exactly what these words mean. They wonder, “Is Jesus saying that if I don’t forgive, God won’t forgive me and I’llEmerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-37625528354006423172011-01-04T02:34:00.000-05:002011-01-04T02:45:00.936-05:00FORGIVENESS: The Ultimate Strategy for Halting the Crazy CycleAs we enter a new year, many of us no doubt have made resolutions such as “work on my marriage” or “be a nicer person” or “grow closer to the Lord.” But do we have a strategy to fulfill these resolutions? How do we plan to meet such goals? One often overlooked – but critical issue – is the concept of forgiveness. With God’s help, this powerful act can help us accomplish all of the above – andEmerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-49029257592802215862010-12-20T15:20:00.000-05:002010-12-20T15:29:16.184-05:00SHE NEARLY GAVE UP TOO SOONIn recent blogs, we have been talking about not giving up too soon. Over a year ago, I received this testimony from a wife who nearly gave up, but decided to try one more thing by attending a Love and Respect Conference.Here is her story: My husband and I have been married for 13 years. We got into a huge fight three days before the conference. I knew it was Satan attacking our marriage and did Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-38011787943009473222010-12-14T13:38:00.000-05:002010-12-14T13:46:35.535-05:00But What if my Spouse Doesn’t Respond?Part TwoSo why do I disagree with the statement “it takes two” to work on a marriage? Because I have witnessed something else, over and over. I have seen a husband determined to obey the Biblical command to unconditionally love his wife, no matter how unresponsive she is. I have seen a wife unconditionally respect a husband no matter how indifferent he is in return. If this is done in Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-42466531785631529332010-12-06T12:00:00.000-05:002010-12-06T12:08:17.862-05:00But What If My Spouse Doesn’t Respond?Part OneLast week I encouraged you to not give up too soon on your marriage. But what if your spouse just doesn’t respond at all? Or things have gotten even worse since applying love and respect? Your natural conclusion is – this doesn’t work! At least not in your situation. After all, it takes two, right?Technically, that may be true. If one partner has determined in their heart that nothingEmerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-6692373785143887162010-11-29T09:48:00.000-05:002010-11-29T10:19:20.893-05:00Don’t Give Up Too Soon!I receive a lot of email from couples who are ready for divorce. Often they ask, “Is it too late for us? My spouse isn’t interested, and I feel I can’t go on. We are headed for divorce.” Of course, such a plea is usually accompanied by several horrifying and depressing details of what went wrong. It’s no wonder they think their situation is hopeless!But one thing I tell such couples is this.Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-48275126707759400312010-11-23T15:56:00.000-05:002010-11-23T16:03:42.509-05:00OPPORTUNITIES TO BE THANKFUL ARE ALWAYS THEREI hope you are all practicing using Thankful Words towards your spouse as we approach Thanksgiving Day! But no doubt some of you feel as though you have nothing to be thankful about regarding your spouse. I understand this…truly, I do. I receive countless emails from husbands and wives whose spouse is committing adultery, taking drugs, drowning in alcohol, taking no interest in the family, etcEmerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-50633669157406903612010-11-18T19:26:00.000-05:002010-11-18T19:37:33.543-05:00This Thanksgiving – Use THANKFUL WORDS Around Your SpouseHow often do you thank your spouse for what he or she does for you every day? Do you sometimes withhold words of thanks because you feel your spouse doesn’t deserve them or won’t receive them? Jesus Himself put a high priority on thankfulness, and He gave thanks whenever the occasion warranted it (for example, before He fed the five thousand in John 6:11). The way of Jesus is to give thanks, Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-69728413565833377342010-10-28T14:02:00.000-04:002010-10-28T14:21:24.352-04:00“Ouch! You’re Stepping on My Air Hose!”In all marriages, there are times when one spouse fails to decode the other, or perhaps somebody just says something harsh, critical, or sarcastic that angers or hurts the other person. At that kind of moment, your mate’s face may fall, or perhaps the eyes grow dark and the tone of voice grows icy. In other people, the body stiffens, the eyes flash and the tone of voice goes up a few octaves. Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-7711310192357601882010-10-16T00:04:00.000-04:002010-10-16T00:24:43.582-04:00Stopping the Crazy Cycle in Mid-Spin“What do we do when our spouses react in a disrespectful or unloving way? What is the appropriate response to our spouse?”This is a question someone asked on my blog recently, and a question I answer in The Language of Love and Respect as well as at our Love and Respect Conferences. So, here are some basic steps on how to stop the crazy cycle in mid-spin:1. Remember that your spouse is a Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-1357008666202538062010-09-27T14:25:00.000-04:002010-09-27T15:11:31.298-04:00My Own Father Appeared to Have Evil WillI would like to tell you a very personal story. I can recall instances from my early childhood when my dad would go into a rage. On one occasion my mother had purchased several pieces of new furniture and had it delivered to the house. Dad was furious over how she had spent the money, and he threw out all the furniture. I can still see in my mind one of the pieces tumbling down the stairs to the Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-51182840365721356972010-09-22T13:58:00.000-04:002010-09-22T14:17:18.641-04:00Can a Mate Choose the Dark Side?A question I often ask the couples I counsel is, “In general, is your spouse getting up in the morning with the purpose of trying to displease you or show you a lack of concern? Is your spouse intending to be unloving or disrespectful?” For the most part, couples answered, “No, I wouldn’t be so strong as to say my spouse is premeditating evil.” “So,” I pressed, “even though on occasion your Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-72729129852807578072010-09-13T21:07:00.000-04:002010-09-13T21:15:59.423-04:00How Does Goodwill Square with Total Depravity?Wherever I teach about goodwill, I am asked, "How do you reconcile the concept of goodwill with the total depravity of the human heart?" Some people go so far as to say, "We can't really have goodwill because we are so sinful," and they usually quote Jeremiah 17:9 to prove their point: "The heart is deceitful and desperately wicked. Who can know it?" (KJV). I believe what Jeremiah teaches, but Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-86514132960173343742010-09-07T21:21:00.000-04:002010-09-07T21:26:47.672-04:00What Does It Mean to Have Goodwill?In the past several weeks I have covered two vital truths that can help the Love and Respect couple develop mutual understanding and good communication:1. The mouth matters (what comes out of the mouth depends on what is in the heart).2. Husbands and wives are not wrong, just very different (as different as pink and blue, as different as her need for love and his need for respect).The third vitalEmerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-83008207003381550382010-08-30T08:17:00.000-04:002010-08-30T08:23:05.097-04:00Decision-Making in Marriage - A Hot-Button Topic?Emerson’s Reply, Part ThreeA few days ago I presented a question that came to me in an email, concerning decision-making in marriage. Please read my two previous posts for Parts One and Two.Concerning the suggestion that husbands and wives “Wait for God to change her/him on the matter” when they are at a stalemate, here is another important point.Generally speaking, wives are more risk averse Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-222297496132497412010-08-27T23:54:00.000-04:002010-08-28T00:01:52.884-04:00Decision-Making in Marriage – A Hot-Button Topic?Emerson’s Reply, Part TwoPlease read the previous post which presents the question on Decision-Making, and includes Part One of my reply. Today I’ll address the second suggestion from the wives:“Wait for God to change her/him on the matter.” This one is rather a moot point because we are talking about those situations when all else has failed, so we are assuming that the couple has already prayedEmerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-58391520804219050222010-08-26T10:55:00.000-04:002010-08-26T11:08:26.517-04:00Decision Making in Marriage: A Hot Button Topic?Recently I received an email question from a colleague who has a vital ministry in the marriage arena. I found his question most interesting and worthy of careful consideration. I’d like to share his email with you followed by my response, over the next few days. My friend writes:Emerson, I am dealing with a tough topic that seems to be a hot button. I can’t think of a better person to bounce Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-47092430895078483852010-08-16T11:34:00.000-04:002010-08-16T11:39:33.086-04:00Hot-Button Words – Part 2In my last post, I shared how Sarah uses certain hot-button words that can push my buttons – and how I’ve learned to not react so defensively. I hope you took some time to figure out what the hot-button words are in your relationship so you can stop the crazy cycle before it spins out of control! Recognizing where we irritate our spouse – and being willing to do something about it – goes a long Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-84282044126785760862010-08-09T12:45:00.000-04:002010-08-09T12:54:11.204-04:00Hot-Button WordsIn our current series on the Love and Respect Connection, we have addressed the importance of our spoken words – and how men and women perceive the same words differently. This week I want to talk about those hot-button words that can cause trouble in every relationship!After living and teaching Love and Respect for over ten years, Sarah and I are constantly amazed at the power of words and how Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-84520733921926969852010-07-30T16:06:00.000-04:002010-07-30T16:14:01.989-04:00Men and Women Hear the Same Words DifferentlyExcess oil.What comes to mind when you hear these words?Two women discussing excess oil may be concerned about their skin. Two men discussing excess oil are probably concerned with machinery or perhaps a slippery garage floor.If you’ve been reading this blog awhile, you know I believe God created men and women to be different…and guess what? These differences affect our communication! Male andEmerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-10559001662357833182010-07-21T16:00:00.000-04:002010-07-21T16:15:12.572-04:00In Marriage, the Mouth MattersAlmost everyone has probably heard or read the nursery rhyme that makes the brave but naïve claim “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” And almost everyone who has outgrown the nursery knows that words can indeed hurt. As I deal with thousands of married couples every year, I see and hear that words cannot only hurt; they can destroy a relationship.Sarah and I canEmerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-32262516235683835722010-07-12T14:31:00.000-04:002010-07-12T14:40:32.414-04:00Mutual Understanding Became the Key to Our MarriageIn my last post, I suggested that there is more to good marital communication than simply “talking”…we need to understand what the other is saying. That’s the “Love and Respect Connection.”Let me explain from personal experience. As I said last week, although Sarah and I loved each other, we often just couldn’t communicate in our marriage, but we didn’t understand why. As much as we tried, it Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-32820105406707298242010-07-06T00:06:00.000-04:002010-07-06T00:17:39.460-04:00Is Communication Really the Key to Marriage?According to a survey conducted by Focus on the Family for the Love and Respect Ministries the answer certainly would appear to be yes. Respondents were asked, “What was (and possibly still is) the biggest problem affecting your marriage?” For men and women the biggest problem by far was lack of communication. These findings coincide with our own at Love and Respect Ministries. As we study Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-27426845237121615952010-06-17T12:05:00.000-04:002010-06-17T23:15:31.188-04:00A TRIBUTE TO DADI recently received an email from a man who wrote a moving tribute to his Dad. His insight blessed me tremendously and I’d like to share it with you, in honor of Father’s Day approaching. May those of us who were blessed with an honorable Dad remember to give him the gift of respect this Father’s Day.A TRIBUTE TO DADIn the course of tragedy in my life I’ve finally come to a place where I’ve Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-80030282002245910982010-06-02T11:12:00.000-04:002010-06-02T11:14:54.375-04:00MEN, NOW IT’S YOUR TURN - TRY SOME ‘FACE TO FACE’ TIME!In my last blog, I encouraged women to study male friendship and to reach out to their husbands through “shoulder to shoulder” activity. I hope some of you men reading this were happy recipients of some quieter moments with your wives!Husbands, if you are like most men, you feel far more uncomfortable with conversations at an intimate level than your wife does. Most women live with words and Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-37620977507742227232010-05-21T07:03:00.000-04:002010-05-21T07:07:02.802-04:00WOMEN, TRY SOME “SHOULDER TO SHOULDER” TIME!Women often express, "I dream of my husband and me having an emotional connection. I want to know his heart and feelings, and for him to know mine. I want him to listen to me and understand me. I have tried to discuss my needs with him but he doesn’t seem to get it, and I can see him getting discouraged when I surface this issue with him.”Maybe I can offer some thoughts.Study male friendship. Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-39399035320002002762010-04-16T13:51:00.000-04:002010-04-16T13:53:35.047-04:00“When I Knew Better, I Did Better”Letter from a Soldier’s WifeI felt led to write this to you today because as I was moving around on Facebook, I saw that you were going to be in Iraq. My husband is currently deployed there and my prayer is that he can go to your conference while you are there. I had heard some good things about your book so I bought it. Unfortunately I bought it with the wrong intentions. I bought it to fix my Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-39117574120009245402010-04-01T19:26:00.001-04:002010-04-01T19:46:43.427-04:00Craziness Happens When the Issue Is No Longer the IssueSam leaves his dirty dishes on the table. Barbara comes home and sees them. She tightens her jaw in anger. The two of them then get into a huge quarrel. Is Barbara mad because of the dishes, or is something deeper happening? My position is a simple one: when suddenly the issue isn't the issue with a wife, and her spirit deflates, the husband needs to look deeper to determine if his wife feels he Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-50994933937000921642010-03-04T12:14:00.000-05:002010-03-04T12:17:33.798-05:00Blue SunglassesAs a husband, you notice matters of honor. The movie Saving Private Ryan, about the invasion of Normandy, tears you up as you fixate on the incredible heroism. You follow the world champion sports team, feeling part of these guys who say, "We respect one another more than anybody on the planet. We'd do anything for one another. One for all, all for one! We're going to be number 1 again!" The noteEmerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-57987864763344561422010-03-03T18:05:00.000-05:002010-03-03T18:09:22.737-05:00Not Wrong – Just Different! Pink SunglassesAs a wife, you notice a man and a woman walking hand in hand. You see a couple sitting together in the park, talking face to face on a bench. You beam all the way through your friend's wedding. On a rainy day, you page through your wedding pictures. As you pass the hospital, you see new parents coming from the maternity ward, and your mind races back to the birth of your child and what you felt Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-49021267820108319642010-03-02T14:40:00.000-05:002010-03-02T14:47:39.023-05:00Eternity in Their HeartsI was honored to receive the following email from a friend of ours who is a professor at Michigan State University. Because Marilyn keeps a close pulse on how our secular culture processes information, especially as it relates to faith, I wanted to share her encouraging thoughts with you as well. EmersonDear Emerson and Sarah,I had a thought last night and want to share it. It's a Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-27492995366003445212010-01-29T14:33:00.000-05:002010-01-29T17:15:00.595-05:00Swim baby, swim! (By Joy Eggerichs, Emerson's daughter)(a fictitious letter)Dear Fellow Friends of Rachel,Did you know that infants, if put in a pool, start swimming naturally? It’s kind of scary to watch because, well, they are infants. What more can they do than sleep, eat, poop and cry? Letting go of an infant takes a huge amount of trust in the child’s natural instincts. Something we can’t see.But the baby will swim.I’ll cut to the chase. I amEmerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-78231326134989191182010-01-21T20:01:00.000-05:002010-01-21T20:06:04.579-05:00Why Stick to the Vow?Do you recall your wedding vows?The pastor asked you, “Will you have this man to be your husband (this woman to be your wife), to live together in the covenant of marriage? Will you love, comfort, honor, and keep___ in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful as long as you both shall live?” You answered, “I will.” You then turned toward each other and vowed, “In the Name Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-61235292019693159212009-12-29T12:17:00.000-05:002009-12-29T12:33:25.068-05:00Emerson Is Headed to IraqBecause I am headed to Iraq sometime after the New Year, I found this recent email a blessing to read and a fitting reminder about my short-term mission to serve men and women in uniform related to their relationships."I felt led to write this to you today because as I was moving around on Facebook, I saw that you were going to be in Iraq. My husband is currently deployed there and my prayer is Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-66218992442508493482009-12-20T16:07:00.000-05:002009-12-20T16:28:34.400-05:00What Christmas Is All AboutGrowing up, I had a little exposure to the “church.” As a young boy, for example, on Christmas I went with my mom and sister to the First Church of Religious Science in Peoria, Illinois, an organization that espouses the dogma: “We believe in the incarnation of the Spirit in all, and that we are all incarnations.” I say this because as a small boy I had no idea what I was hearing, if in fact I Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-73391609967137173442009-12-01T22:25:00.000-05:002009-12-01T22:27:04.864-05:00Giving Thanks – After ThanksgivingThe Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, “in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”What does giving thanks in everything mean? It means give thanks for the good things and for the things that are less than good, trusting that God is working all bad things together for good (Romans 8:28). Permit me to focus on the first part of giving thanks: thanking God for theEmerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-68437472481811793572009-11-06T15:01:00.000-05:002009-11-06T15:06:02.222-05:00SUBMISSION IN MARRIAGE: WHAT ABOUT HUSBANDS?We don’t hear too much about submission anymore. And if we do, it’s usually a command to the wife, to submit to her husband. Still, this is considered a bit archaic in today’s modern culture.But what does the Bible say? Before the section on marriage in Ephesians 5, we read in verse 21, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Should a husband submit to his wife? Yes. He submits Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-45867330600027662702009-10-08T07:56:00.000-04:002009-10-08T08:02:15.969-04:00WHEN EACH STOPS BLAMING, LOOK OUT!Have you ever played the blame game? If you are in a relationship, no doubt you have! Blaming others rather than looking at our own inadequacies is a natural part of our human nature. But I’ve noticed something powerful when working with couples: positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame-game!As a couple, if you both confess your own issues, Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-9364063093012992552009-09-17T11:48:00.000-04:002009-09-17T11:54:19.343-04:00DURING TOUGH FINANCIAL TIMESCal Rychener, the pastor of Northwoods Community Church in Peoria, Illinois, shared this poignant memory with me.“I remember a situation from 1979. I was home for Christmas from college and one afternoon when just my mom, dad, and I were home for lunch, I saw my dad at the table with his head down in his arms. That was very unlike him and I said, ‘Dad, what’s the matter?’ He said, ‘I’ve got a Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-25021349386077252872009-08-26T20:53:00.000-04:002009-08-26T21:01:56.273-04:00Healing of Family of Origin and Attachment IssuesMichsam, her Love and Respect forum name, writes the following testimony about her healing of Family of Origin and Attachment concerns. Sarah and I thoroughly enjoyed her following insights: L&R Ministries offers a simple two-part message for a strong marriage: First, your primary focus must be your relationship with God, not your relationship with your spouse. Second, you must obey God's Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-24392573187930933862009-08-12T09:04:00.000-04:002009-08-12T09:07:24.116-04:00BRILLIANT OBSERVATIONS BY TWO MEN!On the loveandrespect.com Forum a father, and husband, writes, “I had an amazing revelation into the pink mind yesterday, thanks to my 5-year-old daughter. My wife was working, and my daughter and I had gone to church, then to some friends’ house for lunch. We returned home about 2:30 to find the back gate open and her little Boston Terrier nowhere to be found. “I broke the news to her as gently Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-46921870482254831172009-07-22T11:26:00.000-04:002009-07-22T11:33:17.754-04:00ENDURING A SMALL HURT WITHOUT LASHING OUTA wife writes me, “I just finished reading Cracking the Communication Code. Thank you so much for sharing your message! I have learned a great deal about what God desires for me as a wife, and I have already found great joy in putting the principles into action. My husband and I have been married just over 2 years, and we have a great relationship. We were definitely not a ‘marriage in trouble’ Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-45754352676457582522009-07-06T11:25:00.000-04:002009-07-06T12:06:43.872-04:00MOTHERS, SONS, AND RESPECT TALKOne mom applied the respect side of the equation in Ephesians 5:33 to her boys and said, “I'm still amazed how just using the words respect, appreciate, and admire seem to make a great difference so far with my…sons.” Most wives are mothers, and a good percentage of these moms have sons. After some of these moms read my book - Love and Respect - on marriage, they write things like, “I have seenEmerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-201269814846844532009-06-12T17:36:00.000-04:002009-06-20T11:34:19.312-04:00SARAH STEPPED TO THE MICROPHONEHe felt like he lived in a pit, troubles beyond count surrounded him, and people wished for his death. Yet, we hear King David in Psalm 40:3 declaring, “you gave me a new song, a song of praise to you. Many will see this, and they will honor and trust you, the LORD God” (CEV). During David's duress the Israelites observed David's authentic relationship with God and then they chose to honor Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-49455898844003517802009-05-28T15:33:00.001-04:002009-05-28T15:37:55.946-04:00IF ONLYThe enemy killed her husband. As a military man, deployed overseas, doing his duty for his country, he gave the ultimate sacrifice. But after 17 1/2 years of marriage, this woman entered widowhood, another immeasurable sacrifice. Brokenhearted, she writes to me, telling some of her story. "My husband and I had the sweetest 2 1/2 years of courtship anyone could experience." But she relates thatEmerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-32827355258356607112009-05-10T18:07:00.001-04:002009-05-10T19:54:06.497-04:00A Poem on Mother's Day 2009A good friend of mine, Scott Walchek, wrote this poem on Mother's Day. I loved it! I hope you do too. He captured my feelings about my mom.A Mother’s DruthersIf you had your druthers,All of you mothers,What would you rather be?A princess quite noble?A corporate “she-mogul”?Lawyer, professor, MD?You could walk with world kings!Dispense wise utt’ringsYour renown piled high as the skyYou could Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2792307722868485438.post-76497955330207392232009-04-28T13:05:00.000-04:002009-04-28T13:24:16.264-04:00Stereotyping?A woman writes, “Please help. I have a women's study group and we are watching the DVD. I know that Emerson has several times mentioned that the love and respect issues are 'typical' and not all-inclusive to the point of stereotyping. However, I have a friend who can't see past the 'stereotype' issue...all men need respect, not love, and all women need love, not respect, PERIOD.”WE ALL NEED Emerson & Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17974647219596498454noreply@blogger.com0